Monday, August 16, 2010

I'm back

Hi! So, yeah, i’m blogging again. Well, its been ages since I last typed on this lame blog of mine. When was my last post? Oh yeah, June, its been 2 months actually. So anyways, there have been some dramas here and there, so to prevent me from pouring every things out, I prefer to stop blogging for a while. Before I scare every ones out, there MIGHT be some new characters in the new chapter, in case you don’t know. Some bit changes here and there, no big deal. Okay, i’m talking crap now so just shut.

So now, its Ramadhan, and nearly EVERYONE is getting excited of Raya, even though they have to wait for like 30 days to celebrate to that day. This year’s Ramadhan has not been the best for me, yet, but i think its getting better. My mum was very excited on getting new clothes for Hari Raya, and my friends were pretty much talking about their hometown and stuff. Meanwhile, I am busy tracking for a new house to rent. Why? Because I was being chased out by the owner of my current rent house because of some stupid and unreasonable reasons. No details, thank you. So, he, the owner, wants me and my roommate to be out of the house by the end of this month. Sounds mean huh? yeah, yeah, go and laugh, no big deal. I’m fine with that.

So, lets talk about Mid semester exam that happened a week ago. Its sucks, really sucks. There was this one paper, which was really tough, and everyone was trying so hard to understand the notes given, and there were even some of them who made extra research on the subject. But guess what, only 2/5 questions that were familiar to us, i mean, its KINDA in the notes, but the rest of them were BULLSHIT. ANDDDD! Each of the questions have unreasonable marks, like this one question, with 40marks. ONE QUESTION WITH 40 MARKS. Okay, i am so gonna die.

Okay! So this is a lot, i think. Don’t wanna spill too much of information :P

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

pissed off!



i am getting so fucking mad with this anonymous guy that keeps on posting questions and statements to my Formspring. i hate him, whoever he is, i still hate him. chicken pussyyy!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

roll and vomit


each and every time i see this page, my heart beats in a very very rapid pace, my blood seems to stop flowing, i feel nauseous, and nearly faint. but what to do, i have to do this bet no matter what. once in a lifetime right? it wont be that bad....... HOPEFULLY. 

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Blair Waldorf

LG EnV2

phone ni mungkin tak nampak cun tapi aku nak jugak beli sebab Blair Waldorf pakai. asalkan Blair yang guna, memang aku tak teragak agak nak beli. walaupun camera hanye 2.0MP, tapi Blair pakai sume cun :)

I LOVE YOU, BLAIR!!


Monday, April 26, 2010

last breath

ntah lah, my life is getting miserable, miserable, miserable day by day. 
love life is no longer exist, i ruined everything. i know. and i beg thousands of apologies on what i've done to you. sorry. but i wont look back this time, that's for sure. everything will be history, i cant believe it ends just like that.
he doesn't deserve me, he deserves better. 
here is a song that i wrote for him, goodbye my great lover. 



i know i wouldnt say
'i love you anymore'
i know i would not
cry again


but there's something i know
something i must tell
and it's something that i want you to hear


that i miss you
i can never be happy without you 
in my life
but i have to 
say goodbye to you 
and hoping that everything will be just fine
but its not


im sorry i broke my promises
im sorry that you are hurt
and i know that you are much better
without me


and now you hate me
hate me so bad
but please hear me out
one last time


you've been pretty nice to me baby
and i've been the worst for you
that i never be by your side


but i miss you
i can never be happy without you in my life


i wish i dont have to 
say goodbye to you and hoping that everything will be just fine
everything will be just fine
with you.




oh and for those who doesnt know, i've never leave my friends at the back because of my boyfriend. that is so wrong, dont you ever dare, ever, to say those things to me. so now here, i prove to you guys out there, that i am not that kind of person who forgets her friends because of her boy friend. are you satisfied?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

tired

i'm so fed up of people telling me to be someone else but Me!
i live my life, so i sketch it in my own way
i live my life, so i paint it in my own way
i live my life, so i decide everything with my own will
i live my life, so i choose my own thing
i live my life, and i accept it anyway
and if you dont accept the real me, JUST WALK AWAY.
you dont have the rights to tell me what to do or dont do
i'm so fed up of people telling me to be someone else but Me!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

final

as plannned, Ajik picked me up at 8.30 am( i am reluctantly woke up!) from Shah Alam on Saturday also known as the final game for FA cup! Negeri Sembilan has made it till final and they,or should i say we? will have to compete with Kedah. 
at nearly 4, me, Ajik, Rais, Rafie, Umar, and Nami went straight to Bukit Jalil stadium. it was fun when we were on the road. we saw so many cars, Negeri Sembilan's fans' cars, put up flags on, or around their cars. it was exciting to see their spirit were like that. sumpah seronok gila! to see the buses, the cars, even the motorcycle itself has their own flags. how sweet :)
arrived there at 5.40++. it was a long journey to the stadium because we had to park like miles away form the stadium. had a lil troubles in getting in but, not much to say though, yag penting, HOBIN JANG HOBIN!
we won :)
ramai gila!! 

 became an artist

 pahlawan ajik yang ensem 

 before the game


 musuh: KEDAH.

 ajik sangat ensem sebab dikelilingi oleh 4 orang perempuan kiri dan kanan

 monang!

monang bai!! HOBIN JANG HOBIN!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

drama acts

The first day of class was, urm, wasted! Datang kelas penat penat redah panas terik di waktu tengahari, tibatiba lecturer masuk, introduced herself, gave her phone number, took attendance, and thats it. Damn. Penat je. Then the second class was, exciting, maybe because its another literature class, its just that the name of the subject wasn’t literature, but critical appreciation. Just a few minutes in class, and the lecturer, my beloved lecturer actually, said that the midterm will be at the end of this month, which means, IN ANOTHER FEW WEEKS MY DEAR! Okay, baru start kelas dah kena fikir pasal midterm? Whatever. And assignments! Damn, nasib baik based on poems and short stories, if tak, memang sangat sangat tak menarik!

About that add-drop thingy, i was told by the lecturer that i cant add another subject, because of lack of lecturers and it might be hard if i take 4 subjects because each subjects will be in 6hours credits. Eventhough i was much much upset, but, whatever, 3 subjects as it is!

My plan of cooking at home is going pretty well. I cook once a day, as lately, i don’t have much appetite though. But it was just a little cooking thingy, coz i don’t really know how to cook except for Maggie.
Okay lately, i’ve been dreaming of wanting to continue my studies in UPM, and take the English Literature course there. And then, after finished studying, maybe, i want to work, as a teacher, at Sabah or Sarawak. Don’t ask me why, coz i know you know why. LOL.  So anyways, i was informed by Ajik that he’s going to fly to Indonesia this August, during his birthday. Ouch, thats really hurts. So like, i have just a few months left to hang out with him, yes, don’t mention it, i will be crying like hell when he’s gone. :’(  but anyway, thats for his own good, and i accept it and always pray the best for him. J

having plenty of leisure time, i stumbled on my friend's blog, Abid. i read it and i was suprised and blessed that i am ranked by him as one of the top 10 bloggers award. yeay me!(okay, itu over). so it was written there that i have to rank my own top 10 bloggers. so, here it goes :

10. stixxfixx.blogspot.com/

congrats! okay, just some random ranks. no offence. :)

Monday, April 5, 2010

third semester

HELLO NEW SEMESTER!
okay, macam budak excited je nak masuk sem baru. tak tak, tak excited. im not that nerdy okay. 

so anyway, this is my third semester studying in my BELOVED university, and this semester's gonna be a short semester, which means, 2 months of studying. 
fuckingly, before we even started the classes, we, nearly half of the dip tesl students, were informed that our mentor has resigned. and i was like, ape? then macam mana nak naik sem baru??? bak kata alea, kami kena tinggal terkontang kanting. whatever.
new semester has just started but, the exam results are still pending. and we have registered 4 subjects for this semester that are; critical appreciation, grooming and etiquette, english teaching methods, and english for general purpose. but sadly, we have to drop the english for general purpose subject and add it to psychology in education as there is no lecturer that will be teaching that subject. okay. and fuckingly, i just knew that we have to drop the psychology in education subject a.s.a.p as there will be no lecturer that will be teaching that subject TOO. and come to think of it, we have paid the fees for this semester for 4 subject, and now, we'll be taking 3 subjects for this semester. oh and i am so not going to make this happen.i MIGHT be adding one subject(if my result is okay) but before adding or dropping subject, we have to wait for a new mentor to consult us about this add-dropping thingy which will be informed in the next 2 or 3 days.  
sangat-sangat kucar kacir boleh tak! 
oh and, just copied the class schedule for this semester, and damn, i got class from monday to friday. no more friday-is-a-lepaking day. *annoyed*

to my bestfriend, Firdaus abd Azis, i hope that everything will be okay. take care of yourself, and dont let yourself so down with what you are facing right now, be strong. if anything, just buzz me, you know i'll be there for you. take care :)

oh and for those who will be having their final exam this whole 2 weeks, especially the matrix students and my beloveds, Haziq Hanif and Diya Ayuni, GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST !! ;)

Friday, April 2, 2010

geli


okay. aku ingat kat myspace je ade orang geli macam ni. tapi kat facebook pon ade? damn punyelah menyampah aku dengan orang macam ni. siap anta kat message lagi. memang aku takkan approve lah. kat myspace dulu ade orang yang menggatal lagi teruk dari ni, nasib baik kat myspace dan facebook ade privacy. so orang tak boleh la nak tengok account kita kan.. eeeeee. GELI!!
btw, dah la "frenz". fyi, "z" takde dalam grammar and aku boleh trime kalu orang tulis fren or frnd. but frenz? aku sorang je kot?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

observe and learn

When i was studying Sociology in Education last semester, i keep on wondering why people like to, i mean, willing to live in a life of inequality. It is not fair when you see some people eat 6 times a day and some just eat once a day or never eats at all (except for some strange unthankful people who likes to not eat their meal, which they call it so-called diet). It is not because of diet or anything but the thing is, they cant afford to have more than a meal in a day. It is not fair to see some people wear Prada and some wear just a bunch of collected cloth that they found in the trash. It is not fair that some live in a palace or mansion and some just live without a home. Why does this inequality even exist? Like what i’ve learned about India on their social stratification, they have this class system in which they cant “touch” other classes except for their own. Come to think of it, if you are a responsible person, and really want your country to be more successful and modernized, you should just forget about the class system thingy and help among yourselves so that all of the citizens in the country will have a better life all together.

But actually, without inequality, it is not a life. Imagine if all human beings have the same, equal occupation, same, equal standards of life, and same everything, there will be no competition and life is no fun anymore. If everyone work as an engineer, then who is going to be a doctor? A teacher? A lawyer? an entertainer? If our standards of life are equal, then all the prices of everything in this world will be equal too and plus, there will be no variety in life. Same houses, same culture in every country, same food every day, boy, life is plain though.
So, yes, i agree that inequality in society shouldn’t exist but, it just exist without anyone demands for it, am i right?

okay, its just some crazy thoughts, no offence. and anyway, there mightbe some wrongs here and there but, nvm, i dont really like sociology. LOL

Sunday, March 28, 2010

after final's over

Spent my 2 days in Malacca, staying at Fatin’s the day after my final exam was over and the next thing i know, its Saturday and i’ve promised Ayu that i’ll be staying at her place on that day. Macam takde rumah kan? My family aren’t home so i have to stay at my friends’ house.

On Saturday, i packed my bags and waited for Fatin’s ‘friend’ to come and pick us up to go to the Malacca Central. Dammit! Bas. Okay, sacrifice untuk rakan rakan. Hmm, waited and waited and suddenly, Viva putih datang! Like OMG! I can’t believe that Ajik, Ayu and Belalang were standing right in front of the door. I was SUPRISED, again. (suke korang buat suprise kan!)

(singgah A&W beli float. *kagum ade A&W dalam zoo)

Had lunch cooked by Fatin’s mum and we went straight to the zoo! I am so EXCITED, seriously. I was happy that i met Tapir, Red Panda, Giraffe and a cute lil monkey that is SO EFFING SEXY but he likes to scare me off, really, for thousands of times. I was frustrated because i PAID to see the animals, but they were very lazy! Bak kata Belalang, “yelah, da duduk zoo, makan pon free”. Yeah, you were right. So anyway, we managed to capture most of the animals in the zoo, and i like them ALL! Especially Mr. Sexy. (LOL) oh oh and i was excited + scared when i rode an elephant! Tapi sakit bontot. L

(little pony)

(tapir yang handsome!!!!!!)

(cicak naik gajah, betul kan?)

(gajah yang pandai )

(actually, im afraid if that lizard bites)

(bertanduk!)

(harimau itu sebenarnya sangat besar!)

(orang utan tetek menggelebeh)

(kaki sakit)

(ini lah Mr. Sexy!)

(ye, saya lagi tinggi dari zirafah!)

(topi ini sangat cool! boleh ade spek skali. 2 in 1! amazed*)


Anyway, we spent for like 2 hours in the zoo, like seriously, pain in the ass man! Macam turun 10 kg je. HAHA. Then, right after zoo, we went to a place in which i don’t know what the name is called, but there’s a ‘jamban karaoke’ and yes, only me and Fatin sang in the box. Harapkan diorg, pemalu je lebih. Huh!
After sent Fatin back home and had a dinner at her’s, we went straight back to Seremban and i stayed at Ayu’s. I was surprised to see my nearly-finish-renovated-house! It was, urm, KELAKAR. Whatever~
The next morning, Ajik woke me up and Rafie, Nami, Ajik, Ayu and me went to say our last goodbye to Fik and Belalang that will be going to the National Service. Fik dah chow awal, so jumpa Belalang. Selamat berjuang korang! ;)

Then Ajik and i went for a movie! AT LAST. We watched Alice in the Wonderland and i agreed with what Britney said, it was a great movie. Thank you Ajik.

p/s: thank you Ajik for all the surprises and the kind things you’ve done to me. It’s been 5 months now, and i hope we’ll last till the end of my life :’) I LOVE YOU THE MOST, HAZIQ HANIF.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

talk about life

parents didn't call since the day they went out of town. DISAPPOINTED

final exam's over. HAPPY

Ajik came to celebrate. EFFINGLY HAPPY

mum called. PLEASANTLY HAPPY

went busking with him and Fatin. GLAD

had a lil cooked-meal by Ajik's mum. HAPPY

begged for an apology to a friend. NOT FORGIVEN

parents aren't home. SAD

Ajik went home. SAD

called Ayuni. HAPPY

phone went missing. TERRIBLY SAD.

JAP. FOUND IT!!!!!! *Jiher was on the phone and heard the great news and just typed it out!*


okay. rasa macam dah lama tak tengok wayang. seriously. Britney Spears ckp kat twitter dye yang cite Alice in wonderland best. :)


p/s: jalan sebelah tak nak tegur aku. okay, memang salah aku hari tu tapi bukan aku tak mintak maaf. sorry again korg :'(

Friday, March 19, 2010

apology


hey mate,


sorry for yelling at you the other day. i was troubled and yes, i shouldn't let it out to you. i walked away because i didn't want to make anything even worse.
a big apology i beg you, really :(


oh and to the others, i didn't mean it when i said that. 
a BIG SORRY too..
please forgive me

Monday, March 15, 2010

vision 2020 and its challenges


- to be a united nation and tolerant society
- to be a citizen who strong in religious and spiritual values
- to be a scientific and progressive society
- to be an economically just society
- to be a prosperous society

challenges
- establishing a united Malaysian nation
- creating a psychologically liberated society
- fostering and developing a mature democratic society
- establishing a fully moral and ethically society 
- establishing a mature liberal and tolerant society
- establishing a fully caring society
- ensuring an economically just society
- establishing a prosperous society. 


banyak kali aku baca benda ni tapi tak jugak hafal hafal. esok nak exam ni, nape tak boleh masuk? maybe sebab aku tak yakin yang malaysia boleh capai sume ni pada tahun 2020 nanti. frustrated.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

exam mode

just like Fatin Sue's and Juliet Syafiqah's, i want to write a post with the title "exam mode" too! :)
 this week is my final examination and i'll be having my 5 papers:


- sociology of education
- counselling and guidance
- critical thinking
- philosophy of education
- presentation skills


but sadly, i just started revising with 2 subjects only, not STUDYING. and my mum had challenged me to get more than 3.7 before she went to umrah with my dad and brothers and uncle and aunts. how can i achieve that?? macam SUSAH GILA JE. with my counselling and philosophy marks for my mid sem, i dont think i could reach that target, but still, im targeting for 3.75.
WISH ME LUCK!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

extraordinary

out of sudden, a thought just came out from my mind. "jom masak malam ni!" and me and Fatin went to buy some groceries and we planned to do a spaghetti! yuummmy~
i text-ed Ajik, told him that i wanted to cook, which is something EXTRAORDINARY for me, and then he decided to come over! i was like, oh my god, it better be really, really delicious.
to make sure that everything is PURR-FECT, i've been calling my mum for thousand times and still, i did some mistakes. i bought the wrong spaghetti, and the sauce is not enough for the 5 of us. :(

so anyways, around 9.30, Ajik, Rafie and Fikri came and pick us up and we had our so-called picnic at Extreme Park.


 well, they said that it was good, sampai tambah beberapa kali lah! hehe. tapi tak tahu lah kalau itu untuk jaga hati ke ape kan. we ate, and busked, gayed and watch a show. ape show entah kat Extreme park tu. though it was really a tiring day, but its really worth it. thank you Ajik for willing to come :)

ajik hot yaww

asap ajik



grrrrrrrr. aaaammmmm

busking and onlining

gaying

makanan licin!

yummy

gaying

ajik seorang yang jujur, menggatal depan mate aku ;)

thankss sebab sanggup makan makanan aku ye Ajik, Rafie, Fatin, and Fik. 

and and anddddd i love you, Haziq ;)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

don't judge a book by its cover



  • buku itu mungkin nampak cantik tapi hakikatnya, buku itu tidak mempunyai ilmu.

  • buku itu mungkin nampak tak cantik, tapi hakikatnya, buku itu penuh berilmu

  • makanan itu mungkin nampak sedap, tapi hakikatnya, makanan itu kurang berkhasiat]

  • makanan itu mungkin rasanya pahit, tapi hakikatnya, makanan itu sungguh berkhasiat

  • jalan itu mungkin nampak dekat, tapi hakikatnya, jalan itu lagi jauh dari apa yang kita sangkakan

  • orang itu mungkin nampak sopan, tapi hakikatnya, dia seorang pembunuh

  • orang itu mungkin nampak berbudi bahasa, tapi hakikatnya, dia seorang lidah bercabang

  • orang itu mungkin nampak seperti seorang rakan yang jujur, tapi hakikatnya, dia seorang yang penipu

  • orang itu mungkin nampak seperti penagih dadah, tapi hakikatnya dia seorang yang pemurah dalam memberi sedekah

  • orang itu mungkin nampak seperti sampah, tapi hakikatnya, dia seorang yang berhati mulia

  • muzik itu mungkin kedengaran seperti setan, tapi hakikatnya, mesej yang disampaikan itu sungguh murni

  • muzik itu mungkin kedengaran seperti nasyid, tapi hakikatnya, mesej yang disampaikan itu untuk menyesatkan.


jadi, gunakanlah mata, telinga, mulut dan hidung untuk melihat, mendengar, merasa dan menghidu perkara yang berlaku disebalik setiap kejadian. bak kata pepatah, ada udang di sebalik batu.tolong jangan cepat terpedaya  ;)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

i cant live a lie, Haziq

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now

Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie

But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

thoughts

FRUSTRATED.
dengan Malaysia


FRUSTRATED.
dengan Malaysians.


FRUSTRATED.
dengan hypocrisy.
 

FRUSTRATED.
dengan inequality.


FRUSTRATED.
dengan lies.


FRUSTRATED.
dengan ownself.

just one question, WHY??


THANK YOU.
.fullstop.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

the spirit of the dead


tak tahu lah kenapa tapi Malaysia sekarang ni, dalam industri perfileman, selalu sangat buat cerita cerita hantu. niyang rapik lah, saka lah, momok lah, jangan tegur lah, macam macam lah. kenapa? diorang takde idea ke nak buat cerita cerita yang menarik minat penonton? ketandusan idea?
tak tahu lah sape yang nak ditujukan, tapi, hantu ni sume adalah perkara tahyul. memang lah manusia kene percaya yang benda benda ghaib ini wujud, tapi takperlu lah korang nak berlakon jadi diorang dan cerita pasal orang yang dah mati. pasal orang yang tgah hidup ni macam mane?
lagi satu, hantu ni sume sebenarnye taknak tonjolkan diri. seganlah katekan.tapi bile diorang tengok kawan kawan diorang ramai berlakon kat tv, kat wayang sume, diorang jadi excited, dan mule lah keluar si hantu hantu ni secara meliar. kita nak salah kan sape?
cerita cerita hantu yang belambakkat malaysia ni sangat berpengaruh besar pada budak budak dan saya sendiri. budak budak sampai kan nak pegi toilet pon takot, terbayang kan hantu hantu yang mereka tengok kat tv sebelum itu. tahu lah kan, imaginasi kanak kanak. saya pon takot nak tgok tv sorang sorang. asal bukak je tv, ade iklan hantu. pastu ade hantu keluar. nak nye aku duduk rumah sorang sorang tibe2 hantu keluar kat tv tu camne? aishh.

cube lah buat cerita yang ade moral values sikit. tak abes abes cerita hantu, cerita drama sedih sedih nangis nangis, and cerita AF. adoiii. semak pale otak aku.

saya sangat suka orang yang tengok cerita spongebob. at least, spongebob takde hantu hantu niyang rapik ke momok ke pontianak ke kuntilanak ke, takde drama nanges nanges mintak simpati, takde undi undi. hanya sponge, yang memakai seluar kotak. :)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

the LES' and GAs, the NYAs and the TOMs

tengah tengah makan kat warung kat ampangan, tibe tibe ternampak ade sorang awek cun gila ni. tinggi dah macam model lah. muka dah macam artis, dressup memang hot lah. skali bf dye adelah "she-male". aku memandang dan terus memandang. tiada ape yang mengganggu kecuali kucing yg asyek2 nak dekat dgn aku dan senyuman ajik (haha). aku terpikir. pelik betul ade orang yg suka pada sex yang sama. yelah, dye ade benda yg same dgn partner dye, best ke?

aku teringat cerita kawan kawan aku. ade yg tinggalkan bf sebab nk couple dgn pengkid, ade yg frust dengan laki then couple dgn pengkid, ade jugak laki yang nak kat laki. aishhhhh. TAK BOLEH NAK DIBAYANGKAN!

kadang kadang aku cuba membayangkan diri aku dengan perempuan, SANGAT JANGGAL OKAY! pegang-pegang tangan, ade perasaan, yucks! ni kan lagi laki dgn laki. damn. pastu ade pulak pasang niat nak KAHWIN. perempuan nk kawen dgn perempuan, laki nak kawen dgn laki. yg perempuan, ntah macam mane ntah nak dapat anak, bak kate ajik, dye takot k***k tu. haha.

lagi tak bole blah, perempuan yg transform jadi laki, laki yg transform jadi perempuan. ingt ni dunia transformers ke?
aritu aku pergi jalan jalan dan singgah kat satu kedai handphone ni. mak aku kate dye perempuan. aku tgok buah dada dye kecik je, suara garau macam laki. mak aku dgn yakinnya cakap dye perempuan. aku pon mengangguk. tapi ada halkum sume, suara garau sume, tangan pon dah macam lelaki, tangan pon lemah lembut semacam je. patutkah aku percaya tu perempuan?

one word....

CONFUSING.

ade jugak cerita poyo seorang minah pengkid ni, eh i mean, mamat pengkid ni.
konon lah kan ade lah sorang awek cun ni tgah tunggu si mamat pengkid ni kat satu tempat makan ni. pastu datang lah seorang jantan tulen cam nak usya2 la awek ni kan. setelah lebih kurang 10 minit proses mengusya,  datang lah mamat pengkid ni. terus dye nak belasah pulak jantan tulen tu. jantan tulen tu pon tumbuk lah minah pengkid tu, eh i mean, mamat pengkid tu. and shouted " kau tu dah lah perempuan, nak bajet laki plak, tunjuk batang lah wey!" sume orang kat kedai makan tu pandang. mamat pengkid tu dah malu, terus chow dgn awek cun dye tu.
adoi. nak bajet kuat pulak. konon protective lah. boleh je nak jadi protective, tapi tak perlu lah nak tuka gender kau. sex kau dah memang perempuan kan, kenapa nak tuka gender jantan pulak?

Allah da cipta kite dengan sempurna, kenapa nak ubah?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

kids

its funny to watch kids playing hide and seek, when none of them knows how to count 1 to 10. and all of them are counting, and seeking. so who's gonna be the hiders and the seeker?

its funny when the kids, with tiny, tiny legs, and very, very big pampers, running. it seems like the pampers are running, not the kid itself.

its funny to see kids suddenly laugh out loud when they see something that is not funny. and clapping their hands with a rhythm.

its funny to see them communicate with each other with language that we dont really understand and how they can agree and disagree and then, laugh.

kids are brilliant. but the question is, are they that brilliant when they grow up later? coz most of the grown ups dont use their brains to think, and somehow, they are slightly stupid.
will the brilliantness remain unchanged?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

dad

well, i am currently in JB, not feeling very well but yet, my mum is forcing me to follow her to go here and there and here like i am not sick at all. but never mind.

tadi, mase aku pergi ke kedai makan, macam kedai tepi tepi jalan lah, ape name kedai tu, siput sedut kot. bapak aku cakap ramai gila orang datang makan kat kedai tu. lagi ramai dari orang nk makan cendol. aku terasa. haha. so sampai sampai kat sana, memang ramai lah jugak orang yang datang. tapi aku tak nampak ape yang special kat situ yang membuatkan ramai orang datang.
so anyway, tengah tengah makan tu aku ternampak seorang mamat lingkungan umur 45 camtu dengan berbaju Ramones dan seluar jeans koyak koyak. di belakangnya ade 5 orang budak budak, 3 perempuan, 2 lelaki. sesudah mereka duduk, sume anak anak tu bersuara, "papa! papa! nak milo suam!" "papa! papa! nak teh tarik!" dan kesemua anak anak dye tak mintak air sejuk kecuali bapaknya, sirap ais. terharu lagi aku melihat bapak yang sebegitu rupa menyuap anak anak dye. aku syak dye adelah bapa tunggal yg menyara 5 orang anak sebab jarang sekali anak anak kecil perempuan dipakaikan dengan tshirt hitam. selalunya, mak mak akan pakaikan serba pink pink. tapi bapak pon pakai baju band, ni kan lagi anak.

sedang makan makan lagi, lalu lah seorang perempuan berbaju urm, should i say dress yg berlengan panjang dan shades di kepala dan ber-make up merah pekat. dress tu smpai peha dan berselipar "roxy". aku pon kutuk lah dalam hati sebab tak tau nk mengutuk dengan sape kan. sekali, dalam kereta ayah aku bersuara. " tadi nampak tak perempuan tak cantik tu? ape lah. dah lah makan kat warung je, nak pakai cantik cantik. tapi baju tak jugak cantik. buruk je ayah tengok. nak sexy sexy pulak kat warung. kan?"
aku tergelak dalam hati sebab bapak aku pon mengutuk! haha

Thursday, February 4, 2010

pantai


I LOVE YOU

Thursday, January 28, 2010

to a friend

Come to think of it, am i the one who started it? Am i the one who ruined everything? Coz you don’t seem to care nor notice me ever since the thing started. have i chose the wrong decision? Am i in the wrong path?
I do not know what’s in your mind now but all i know is you are so different from who you were before. And i keep on wondering what I have done that makes you act like this. You said you were okay but you’re not. You were caught lying to us, is that what makes you hate me now?

As for now, i just wish and hoping that everything will be alright. Frankly speaking, i miss you soo bad.  But i couldn’t say it to you coz you don’t seem to miss me. And yes, i miss all the laughter that we shared together, well, its a long long time ago. Till i cant remember when was the last time we did that. The jealousy started to cross my heart when i saw you missing somebody else, which was not me. Sorry but yes i am a bit jealous of that.

Sometimes i fall, and i wish that it was you are the one that hold my hands, but that was just a dream. So, as for now, you cant blame me for having someone else in my life, some more friends and one special guy in my heart. But still, i wish we could turn back the time and pause at the moments that we’re spending our selves together. I miss our yesterdays and i miss you..

Monday, January 25, 2010

1,2,3

its been a long time since i haven't update my blog. 
yeah. lots of things to do rather than typing unspoken words to this place. 
been very busy with mid terms, and friends and life and love.
but there are some things that i want to say to those who i think need to buy a very very big mirror.

stop backstabbing your friend. you know how it hurt when someone back stabbing you. 
and by wearing your mask, doesn't mean that i cant see your real face that you're hiding from her. i could see it with my bare naked eyes.

and stop hurting my friends. leaving them is hurt enough, but cheating and lying? its too much. screw you! dont you have any idea on what you say about her might affect her the rest of her life? dont you think what you did to him is too much? and dont you think you're too obsessed with your new life and that you've forgot who's been by your side all the time?

and yeah, the sudden change of you has made me think of something. you've not moved on. i know. i'm a girl too. 

and to those who keep on fighting about such a fucking silly things, just snap out of it. its ridiculous. you might think that you did the right thing but, come to think of it, who's there when you need someone? and you just want to end your relationship just like that? nonsense.

and you hate me coz i spilled the whole truth? what? you're scared? well, i'm not. go and tell others your lies. they would believe you, but i wont. and someday, you'll know how far you've been. 

i know im no perfect, but at least i'm trying. 

Saturday, January 16, 2010

and his name is Haziq



he's always there for me to make me smile
he's always there for me to wipe out my tears
he's always there for me to calm my anger
he's always there for me to hear my lecture
he's always there for me through ups and downs
he never gives up on me
he never gives up on cheering me
he never gives up on pulling me up from the cliff 
he never gives up on loving me
he, is the greatest guy i've ever met
and
thank you for not being mad at me when im mad at you
thank you for holding my soul when im about to die
thank you for not stop calling my name when i refused to talk
thank you for always be there for me when im in pain or in the sweetest memory
thank you for accepting me as who i am when i wanted to change
and lastly
thank you for being my boyfriend.
i love you with all of my heart
<3

Thursday, January 14, 2010

robots?

yes, human beings are getting smarter and smarter. but creating sex robots? this doesn't make sense. AT ALL. 


look at her! she doesn't even look real. how can you possibly, you-know-what-i-mean. its DISGUSTING!!!
and for those who are interested in buying these robots, please, just don't. there are sooooo many girls out there that are HUMANKIND whom you can have s*x with.
be a man, okay? i mean, a REAL man.



and ajik, if you dare to buy one, memang nak kene lempang lah!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

counting the days

exam exam exam.
tired of it already!!!

so anyway, 3 papers had passed today.
frankly, philosophy of education was really really tough. i've been struggling very very hard for the paper, been reading it for 3 days, and all i can answer is 2/5 of it! well, maybe its because i have to read like, what, 80 pages for 2 chapters. hows that? but anyway, sorry Prof J.

the next paper was sociology. another tough subject. luckily the lecturer gave us a lil tips on the exam, so we didnt have to read all of the chapters in the big book. but the exam was tiring because i have to write 5 essays and the marks are irrelevant! urghh. thanks anyway.

then on the same day of sociology, i had this critical thinking subject, at noon. mengantok lah! but, it was okay lah. not that tough as i thought it was but not as easy as creative thinking that i took last semester. :)

next will be, counselling and guidance IN THE MORNING, and presentation skills ON SATURDAY!
bosan betul bila exam hari sabtu. :(

ouh and one more thing yang best pasal mid sem dekat MSU ni is that, no hols. not even a day, well maybe they think there is, SUNDAY.

and to my beloved haziq hanif, stay strong. i'll always be with you. see you next week okay ;)

Monday, January 11, 2010

come and go



setiap yang datang mesti akan pergi
dan kite sebagai manusia memang takkan hidup lama, mesti akan mati. 
cube lah lari macamana pon, rentas lautan api, panjat gunung yg 10 kali ganda lagi tinggi dar everest, jadi macam hollow man bagaimana skali pon, malaikat tetap akan cabut nyawa kite. 

ayah chot, pakcik saya, meninggal hari ini
sedikit sebak di dada,
tapi nak buat macamana, Allah lebih sayangkan beliau. dah tiba ajalnya untuk pergi. kite tak bole nak halang kehendak Tuhan.
SEMOGA ROHNYA DICUCURI RAHMAT.
AL-FATIHAH...




maaf tidak dapat menziarahi kerana exam ;(

Friday, January 8, 2010

explain

again, i feel annoyed with the questions, what what and what do you learn from philosophy?
urghh. okay here's the thing. in my opinion, i dont learn anything from it. yes. because i dont apply any of those stuff that are written in the book instead, i try to understand it and say "oh, really?"
its just a matter of gaining knowledge without finding the way to apply it.
basically, from the book, that i've read reluctantly, its all about idealism and realism and how it relates to education and teaching. *read it so you'll know how gila i am when reading this*
these things are totally different. idealism is subjective and it is intangible. idealists believed that ideas are the pure truth because ideas do not change, but materials are changing. and thennnn, the fucking part is, we can get to know these people like Plato, Socrates, Augustine and duhh, memang aku tanak kenal korang lah but i am forced to get to know them. i hate to learn about the dead.
and realism is the opposite of it. it is objective and measurable and tangible. and frankly, this is all iknow because i haven't study a thing for this! F**k! and more people to be noticed such as Aquinas, Aristotle, Bacon and who ever they are.

so get the idea ? philosophy is as easy as cendol. trust me.
exam will be on wednesday and thre'll be 2 essays. ^&^&(*)*(&%$%

Monday, January 4, 2010

papers and pens

it has been a few months for this semester and now, its mid semester's test. goshhh! i think i know nothing at all. it feels like, i've learned nothing through out this semster. 
i got 5 subjects to be studied. and these subject are pretty lame. 

-critical thinking
-counselling and guidance
-presentation skills
-philosophy of education
-sociology
*i'm listing it out so that people would STOP asking me what subjects am i taking this semester.*

so frankly speaking, my favourite has always been literature, but because there's no more literature class*which makes me feel sooo upset about it* the most acceptable and kind,my favourite subject is, presentation skills. 
eventhough, the assignments has nothing to do but only presentation and presentation and more presentations, but the class was kinda fun. seriously.

and the least favourite subject of all times is counselling and guidance.
imagine: jiher as a counsellor. 
geli bai!!
this subject was the most boring subject i've even took. sumpah tanak blaja lagi dah lepas sem ni!

the toughest subject is philosophy of education. well, falsafah kan, susah la. the sentences are hardly understandable because it uses a philosophical-english-language, in which, i have to read it like 10 times to understand JUST A SENTENCE, not to mention i have to read like 30 times to AT LEAST remember what it says. nak harapkan aku hafal setiap sentence? JANGAN HARAP.


so, the test will starts on 12th january 2010. wish me all the best ;)