Monday, April 26, 2010

last breath

ntah lah, my life is getting miserable, miserable, miserable day by day. 
love life is no longer exist, i ruined everything. i know. and i beg thousands of apologies on what i've done to you. sorry. but i wont look back this time, that's for sure. everything will be history, i cant believe it ends just like that.
he doesn't deserve me, he deserves better. 
here is a song that i wrote for him, goodbye my great lover. 

i know i wouldnt say
'i love you anymore'
i know i would not
cry again

but there's something i know
something i must tell
and it's something that i want you to hear

that i miss you
i can never be happy without you 
in my life
but i have to 
say goodbye to you 
and hoping that everything will be just fine
but its not

im sorry i broke my promises
im sorry that you are hurt
and i know that you are much better
without me

and now you hate me
hate me so bad
but please hear me out
one last time

you've been pretty nice to me baby
and i've been the worst for you
that i never be by your side

but i miss you
i can never be happy without you in my life

i wish i dont have to 
say goodbye to you and hoping that everything will be just fine
everything will be just fine
with you.

oh and for those who doesnt know, i've never leave my friends at the back because of my boyfriend. that is so wrong, dont you ever dare, ever, to say those things to me. so now here, i prove to you guys out there, that i am not that kind of person who forgets her friends because of her boy friend. are you satisfied?

Sunday, April 25, 2010


i'm so fed up of people telling me to be someone else but Me!
i live my life, so i sketch it in my own way
i live my life, so i paint it in my own way
i live my life, so i decide everything with my own will
i live my life, so i choose my own thing
i live my life, and i accept it anyway
and if you dont accept the real me, JUST WALK AWAY.
you dont have the rights to tell me what to do or dont do
i'm so fed up of people telling me to be someone else but Me!

Sunday, April 11, 2010


as plannned, Ajik picked me up at 8.30 am( i am reluctantly woke up!) from Shah Alam on Saturday also known as the final game for FA cup! Negeri Sembilan has made it till final and they,or should i say we? will have to compete with Kedah. 
at nearly 4, me, Ajik, Rais, Rafie, Umar, and Nami went straight to Bukit Jalil stadium. it was fun when we were on the road. we saw so many cars, Negeri Sembilan's fans' cars, put up flags on, or around their cars. it was exciting to see their spirit were like that. sumpah seronok gila! to see the buses, the cars, even the motorcycle itself has their own flags. how sweet :)
arrived there at 5.40++. it was a long journey to the stadium because we had to park like miles away form the stadium. had a lil troubles in getting in but, not much to say though, yag penting, HOBIN JANG HOBIN!
we won :)
ramai gila!! 

 became an artist

 pahlawan ajik yang ensem 

 before the game

 musuh: KEDAH.

 ajik sangat ensem sebab dikelilingi oleh 4 orang perempuan kiri dan kanan


monang bai!! HOBIN JANG HOBIN!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

drama acts

The first day of class was, urm, wasted! Datang kelas penat penat redah panas terik di waktu tengahari, tibatiba lecturer masuk, introduced herself, gave her phone number, took attendance, and thats it. Damn. Penat je. Then the second class was, exciting, maybe because its another literature class, its just that the name of the subject wasn’t literature, but critical appreciation. Just a few minutes in class, and the lecturer, my beloved lecturer actually, said that the midterm will be at the end of this month, which means, IN ANOTHER FEW WEEKS MY DEAR! Okay, baru start kelas dah kena fikir pasal midterm? Whatever. And assignments! Damn, nasib baik based on poems and short stories, if tak, memang sangat sangat tak menarik!

About that add-drop thingy, i was told by the lecturer that i cant add another subject, because of lack of lecturers and it might be hard if i take 4 subjects because each subjects will be in 6hours credits. Eventhough i was much much upset, but, whatever, 3 subjects as it is!

My plan of cooking at home is going pretty well. I cook once a day, as lately, i don’t have much appetite though. But it was just a little cooking thingy, coz i don’t really know how to cook except for Maggie.
Okay lately, i’ve been dreaming of wanting to continue my studies in UPM, and take the English Literature course there. And then, after finished studying, maybe, i want to work, as a teacher, at Sabah or Sarawak. Don’t ask me why, coz i know you know why. LOL.  So anyways, i was informed by Ajik that he’s going to fly to Indonesia this August, during his birthday. Ouch, thats really hurts. So like, i have just a few months left to hang out with him, yes, don’t mention it, i will be crying like hell when he’s gone. :’(  but anyway, thats for his own good, and i accept it and always pray the best for him. J

having plenty of leisure time, i stumbled on my friend's blog, Abid. i read it and i was suprised and blessed that i am ranked by him as one of the top 10 bloggers award. yeay me!(okay, itu over). so it was written there that i have to rank my own top 10 bloggers. so, here it goes :


congrats! okay, just some random ranks. no offence. :)

Monday, April 5, 2010

third semester

okay, macam budak excited je nak masuk sem baru. tak tak, tak excited. im not that nerdy okay. 

so anyway, this is my third semester studying in my BELOVED university, and this semester's gonna be a short semester, which means, 2 months of studying. 
fuckingly, before we even started the classes, we, nearly half of the dip tesl students, were informed that our mentor has resigned. and i was like, ape? then macam mana nak naik sem baru??? bak kata alea, kami kena tinggal terkontang kanting. whatever.
new semester has just started but, the exam results are still pending. and we have registered 4 subjects for this semester that are; critical appreciation, grooming and etiquette, english teaching methods, and english for general purpose. but sadly, we have to drop the english for general purpose subject and add it to psychology in education as there is no lecturer that will be teaching that subject. okay. and fuckingly, i just knew that we have to drop the psychology in education subject a.s.a.p as there will be no lecturer that will be teaching that subject TOO. and come to think of it, we have paid the fees for this semester for 4 subject, and now, we'll be taking 3 subjects for this semester. oh and i am so not going to make this happen.i MIGHT be adding one subject(if my result is okay) but before adding or dropping subject, we have to wait for a new mentor to consult us about this add-dropping thingy which will be informed in the next 2 or 3 days.  
sangat-sangat kucar kacir boleh tak! 
oh and, just copied the class schedule for this semester, and damn, i got class from monday to friday. no more friday-is-a-lepaking day. *annoyed*

to my bestfriend, Firdaus abd Azis, i hope that everything will be okay. take care of yourself, and dont let yourself so down with what you are facing right now, be strong. if anything, just buzz me, you know i'll be there for you. take care :)

oh and for those who will be having their final exam this whole 2 weeks, especially the matrix students and my beloveds, Haziq Hanif and Diya Ayuni, GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST !! ;)

Friday, April 2, 2010


okay. aku ingat kat myspace je ade orang geli macam ni. tapi kat facebook pon ade? damn punyelah menyampah aku dengan orang macam ni. siap anta kat message lagi. memang aku takkan approve lah. kat myspace dulu ade orang yang menggatal lagi teruk dari ni, nasib baik kat myspace dan facebook ade privacy. so orang tak boleh la nak tengok account kita kan.. eeeeee. GELI!!
btw, dah la "frenz". fyi, "z" takde dalam grammar and aku boleh trime kalu orang tulis fren or frnd. but frenz? aku sorang je kot?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

observe and learn

When i was studying Sociology in Education last semester, i keep on wondering why people like to, i mean, willing to live in a life of inequality. It is not fair when you see some people eat 6 times a day and some just eat once a day or never eats at all (except for some strange unthankful people who likes to not eat their meal, which they call it so-called diet). It is not because of diet or anything but the thing is, they cant afford to have more than a meal in a day. It is not fair to see some people wear Prada and some wear just a bunch of collected cloth that they found in the trash. It is not fair that some live in a palace or mansion and some just live without a home. Why does this inequality even exist? Like what i’ve learned about India on their social stratification, they have this class system in which they cant “touch” other classes except for their own. Come to think of it, if you are a responsible person, and really want your country to be more successful and modernized, you should just forget about the class system thingy and help among yourselves so that all of the citizens in the country will have a better life all together.

But actually, without inequality, it is not a life. Imagine if all human beings have the same, equal occupation, same, equal standards of life, and same everything, there will be no competition and life is no fun anymore. If everyone work as an engineer, then who is going to be a doctor? A teacher? A lawyer? an entertainer? If our standards of life are equal, then all the prices of everything in this world will be equal too and plus, there will be no variety in life. Same houses, same culture in every country, same food every day, boy, life is plain though.
So, yes, i agree that inequality in society shouldn’t exist but, it just exist without anyone demands for it, am i right?

okay, its just some crazy thoughts, no offence. and anyway, there mightbe some wrongs here and there but, nvm, i dont really like sociology. LOL