geli

okay. aku ingat kat myspace je ade orang geli macam ni. tapi kat facebook pon ade? damn punyelah menyampah aku dengan orang macam ni. siap anta kat message lagi. memang aku takkan approve lah. kat myspace dulu ade orang yang menggatal lagi teruk dari ni, nasib baik kat myspace dan facebook ade privacy. so orang tak boleh la nak tengok account kita kan.. eeeeee. GELI!!
btw, dah la "frenz". fyi, "z" takde dalam grammar and aku boleh trime kalu orang tulis fren or frnd. but frenz? aku sorang je kot?

vision 2020 and its challenges

- to be a united nation and tolerant society

- to be a citizen who strong in religious and spiritual values

- to be a scientific and progressive society

- to be an economically just society

- to be a prosperous society

challenges

- establishing a united Malaysian nation

- creating a psychologically liberated society

- fostering and developing a mature democratic society

- establishing a fully moral and ethically society 

- establishing a mature liberal and tolerant society

- establishing a fully caring society

- ensuring an economically just society

- establishing a prosperous society. 

banyak kali aku baca benda ni tapi tak jugak hafal hafal. esok nak exam ni, nape tak boleh masuk? maybe sebab aku tak yakin yang malaysia boleh capai sume ni pada tahun 2020 nanti. frustrated.

exam mode

just like Fatin Sue's and Juliet Syafiqah's, i want to write a post with the title "exam mode" too! :)
 this week is my final examination and i'll be having my 5 papers:


- sociology of education
- counselling and guidance
- critical thinking
- philosophy of education
- presentation skills


but sadly, i just started revising with 2 subjects only, not STUDYING. and my mum had challenged me to get more than 3.7 before she went to umrah with my dad and brothers and uncle and aunts. how can i achieve that?? macam SUSAH GILA JE. with my counselling and philosophy marks for my mid sem, i dont think i could reach that target, but still, im targeting for 3.75.
WISH ME LUCK!

thoughts

FRUSTRATED.

dengan Malaysia

FRUSTRATED.

dengan Malaysians.

FRUSTRATED.

dengan hypocrisy.

 

FRUSTRATED.

dengan inequality.

FRUSTRATED.

dengan lies.

FRUSTRATED.

dengan ownself.

^{just one question,} WHY??

THANK YOU.

.fullstop.

the spirit of the dead

tak tahu lah kenapa tapi Malaysia sekarang ni, dalam industri perfileman, selalu sangat buat cerita cerita hantu. niyang rapik lah, saka lah, momok lah, jangan tegur lah, macam macam lah. kenapa? diorang takde idea ke nak buat cerita cerita yang menarik minat penonton? ketandusan idea?
tak tahu lah sape yang nak ditujukan, tapi, hantu ni sume adalah perkara tahyul. memang lah manusia kene percaya yang benda benda ghaib ini wujud, tapi takperlu lah korang nak berlakon jadi diorang dan cerita pasal orang yang dah mati. pasal orang yang tgah hidup ni macam mane?
lagi satu, hantu ni sume sebenarnye taknak tonjolkan diri. seganlah katekan.tapi bile diorang tengok kawan kawan diorang ramai berlakon kat tv, kat wayang sume, diorang jadi excited, dan mule lah keluar si hantu hantu ni secara meliar. kita nak salah kan sape?
cerita cerita hantu yang belambakkat malaysia ni sangat berpengaruh besar pada budak budak dan saya sendiri. budak budak sampai kan nak pegi toilet pon takot, terbayang kan hantu hantu yang mereka tengok kat tv sebelum itu. tahu lah kan, imaginasi kanak kanak. saya pon takot nak tgok tv sorang sorang. asal bukak je tv, ade iklan hantu. pastu ade hantu keluar. nak nye aku duduk rumah sorang sorang tibe2 hantu keluar kat tv tu camne? aishh.

cube lah buat cerita yang ade moral values sikit. tak abes abes cerita hantu, cerita drama sedih sedih nangis nangis, and cerita AF. adoiii. semak pale otak aku.

saya sangat suka orang yang tengok cerita spongebob. at least, spongebob takde hantu hantu niyang rapik ke momok ke pontianak ke kuntilanak ke, takde drama nanges nanges mintak simpati, takde undi undi. hanya sponge, yang memakai seluar kotak. :)

the LES' and GAs, the NYAs and the TOMs

tengah tengah makan kat warung kat ampangan, tibe tibe ternampak ade sorang awek cun gila ni. tinggi dah macam model lah. muka dah macam artis, dressup memang hot lah. skali bf dye adelah "she-male". aku memandang dan terus memandang. tiada ape yang mengganggu kecuali kucing yg asyek2 nak dekat dgn aku dan senyuman ajik (haha). aku terpikir. pelik betul ade orang yg suka pada sex yang sama. yelah, dye ade benda yg same dgn partner dye, best ke?

aku teringat cerita kawan kawan aku. ade yg tinggalkan bf sebab nk couple dgn pengkid, ade yg frust dengan laki then couple dgn pengkid, ade jugak laki yang nak kat laki. aishhhhh. TAK BOLEH NAK DIBAYANGKAN!

kadang kadang aku cuba membayangkan diri aku dengan perempuan, SANGAT JANGGAL OKAY! pegang-pegang tangan, ade perasaan, yucks! ni kan lagi laki dgn laki. damn. pastu ade pulak pasang niat nak KAHWIN. perempuan nk kawen dgn perempuan, laki nak kawen dgn laki. yg perempuan, ntah macam mane ntah nak dapat anak, bak kate ajik, dye takot k***k tu. haha.

lagi tak bole blah, perempuan yg transform jadi laki, laki yg transform jadi perempuan. ingt ni dunia transformers ke?
aritu aku pergi jalan jalan dan singgah kat satu kedai handphone ni. mak aku kate dye perempuan. aku tgok buah dada dye kecik je, suara garau macam laki. mak aku dgn yakinnya cakap dye perempuan. aku pon mengangguk. tapi ada halkum sume, suara garau sume, tangan pon dah macam lelaki, tangan pon lemah lembut semacam je. patutkah aku percaya tu perempuan?

one word....

CONFUSING.

ade jugak cerita poyo seorang minah pengkid ni, eh i mean, mamat pengkid ni.
konon lah kan ade lah sorang awek cun ni tgah tunggu si mamat pengkid ni kat satu tempat makan ni. pastu datang lah seorang jantan tulen cam nak usya2 la awek ni kan. setelah lebih kurang 10 minit proses mengusya,  datang lah mamat pengkid ni. terus dye nak belasah pulak jantan tulen tu. jantan tulen tu pon tumbuk lah minah pengkid tu, eh i mean, mamat pengkid tu. and shouted " kau tu dah lah perempuan, nak bajet laki plak, tunjuk batang lah wey!" sume orang kat kedai makan tu pandang. mamat pengkid tu dah malu, terus chow dgn awek cun dye tu.
adoi. nak bajet kuat pulak. konon protective lah. boleh je nak jadi protective, tapi tak perlu lah nak tuka gender kau. sex kau dah memang perempuan kan, kenapa nak tuka gender jantan pulak?

Allah da cipta kite dengan sempurna, kenapa nak ubah?

1,2,3

its been a long time since i haven't update my blog. 

yeah. lots of things to do rather than typing unspoken words to this place. 

been very busy with mid terms, and friends and life and love.

but there are some things that i want to say to those who i think need to buy a very very big mirror.

stop backstabbing your friend. you know how it hurt when someone back stabbing you. 

and by wearing your mask, doesn't mean that i cant see your real face that you're hiding from her. i could see it with my bare naked eyes.

and stop hurting my friends. leaving them is hurt enough, but cheating and lying? its too much. screw you! dont you have any idea on what you say about her might affect her the rest of her life? dont you think what you did to him is too much? and dont you think you're too obsessed with your new life and that you've forgot who's been by your side all the time?

and yeah, the sudden change of you has made me think of something. you've not moved on. i know. i'm a girl too. 

and to those who keep on fighting about such a fucking silly things, just snap out of it. its ridiculous. you might think that you did the right thing but, come to think of it, who's there when you need someone? and you just want to end your relationship just like that? nonsense.

and you hate me coz i spilled the whole truth? what? you're scared? well, i'm not. go and tell others your lies. they would believe you, but i wont. and someday, you'll know how far you've been. 

i know im no perfect, but at least i'm trying. 

explain

again, i feel annoyed with the questions, what what and what do you learn from philosophy?
urghh. okay here's the thing. in my opinion, i dont learn anything from it. yes. because i dont apply any of those stuff that are written in the book instead, i try to understand it and say "oh, really?"
its just a matter of gaining knowledge without finding the way to apply it.
basically, from the book, that i've read reluctantly, its all about idealism and realism and how it relates to education and teaching. *read it so you'll know how gila i am when reading this*
these things are totally different. idealism is subjective and it is intangible. idealists believed that ideas are the pure truth because ideas do not change, but materials are changing. and thennnn, the fucking part is, we can get to know these people like Plato, Socrates, Augustine and duhh, memang aku tanak kenal korang lah but i am forced to get to know them. i hate to learn about the dead.
and realism is the opposite of it. it is objective and measurable and tangible. and frankly, this is all iknow because i haven't study a thing for this! F**k! and more people to be noticed such as Aquinas, Aristotle, Bacon and who ever they are.

so get the idea ? philosophy is as easy as cendol. trust me.
exam will be on wednesday and thre'll be 2 essays. ^&^&(*)*(&%$%

thank youuuu

well miss.G i didn't know that you're actually spreading my blog address to your friends! that is sooooo cool. finally you're being cool *clapclap*
sorry coz i didn't write about you for ages coz now that you're invisible and totally out of my sight, i cant remember to even think of you!
so anyway, i do have a boyfriend. dude, what makes you think i dont have one?? i do and he's the best, i mean the greatest. jeleous much?
oh and eventhough i dont have my own car to drive, or should i say, i dont have my own mercedes benz at my house, but at least, i have my own life to live in. i dont have to pretend to be anyone else to make everyone impressssss.
ENOUGH TALKING ABOUT YOU MISS. G. ITS ANNOYING.




anyway, im sorry ajik for kidnapping you on the 13th of December. i didnt mean to kidnap you or anything but i really really want you to be next to me for the last time coz i will not be seeing you for almost 2 weeks. its a loooong time for me to wait. so i did that; kidnapping you and forced you to spend 21 hours with me. but it was a great day, isn't it? i cherish the each and every second i had with you that day. it was awesome. and im freaking in love with you. uuuu. thanks for posting about that day. it was funny but sweeeeetttt gila!! 
i really reallly appreciate that.
last word: i love you too, Haziq :)

listen

kalau korang tak dapat nak terima perubahan aku just shut up and walk away. i was once a fool, its true. tapi kau tak perlu lah nak perliperli aku beria wey. i know who i am before. and, gosh! it takes some time to change okay! yang kau tak sabarsabar nak aku completely berubah ni kenapa? pastu kalau aku dah completely berubah, kau lak bising cakap lupa member lah bagai suma. kau faham tak perkataan SABAR dan TUNGGU. kecoh sangat lah. patutnya kau macam bersyukur lah kan aku berubah, bukan banyak songeh. macam sial. aku taulah ape aku buat. tayah nak seboksebok. bila aku tak lepak cakap aku sombong, bila aku cam nak balik awal cakap lopek, bila aku pakai tudung cakap macamacam,*kau ni kenapa jiher? rambut kau da botak ke? kau pregnant ke? apsal kau tibetibe dapat hidayah? perlu ke kau pakai macam ni?* bila aku tanak ini kau suruh buat itu, bile aku tanak itu, kau cakap aku poyo. adoi. habis ape yang perlu aku buat? bagaikan ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak. ape yang perlu aku cakap adalah, korang tolonglah support ape yang aku buat. ok fine. kau nak tau sangat kan kenapa aku nk berubah?

1. pointer aku semester lepas teruk.
-aku tanak disebabkan bidang muzik yang aku ceburi ni menyebabkan pointer aku jatuh. so aku berhenti.
-aku tanak disebabkan lepak yang terlalu lama menyebabkan aku susah nak bangun tido dan pergi ke kelas lambat pada keesokan harinya.
-aku tanak disebabkan perangai aku dan sikap aku ni membuatkan hati aku gelap and tak dapat masuk sume ilmu yang aku belajar.

2. BUKAN SEBAB BOYFRIEND AKU.
-takde makne aku nak pakai tudung sebab boyfriend aku. dye ok je kalau aku pakai mahupun pakai. i'm still the same person
-takde makne aku nak ubah appearance aku sebab seorang lelaki yang bukan lagi suami aku *sorry ajik*
- eh lagipon, kalu berubah sebab dye pon ape salahnye. benda yang baik kan?

3. aku nak jadi orang yang berjaya
-takkan lah aku nnt lepas dah graduate nanti aku jadi cikgu yang perangai macam aku sekarang ni?
-takkan lah nnt lepas aku dah dapat kerja sume dah kawin sume aku nak kekal dengan perangai aku macam ni?

4. aku dapat mimpi buruk
- ye. disebabkan cerita 2012 dan a few movies on tsunami, aku dapat mimpi buruk.
- tak salah kan kalau aku berubah sebab mimpi?

5. aku belajar dari kesilapan
- aku tanak jadi aku yang dulu, orang yang tak bagus.
- aku nak jadi orang yang berwawasan
- aku nak berjaya dunia akhirat

so, tak salah kan kalau aku berubah? at least aku dah berubah. kau bila lagi?

aku dah tulis 95%  dalam bahasa melayu dah ni. kalau tak paham jugak tak tahu lah.

p/s: maaf jika sesiapa terasa. memang nak korang terasa pon.

books

reti guna dictionary kan? or nak aku ajar?
kalau tak reti guna dictionary, mintak tolong cikgu kau ajar camne nak guna. malu bertanya sesat jalan tau.
setahu aku lah kan, sebab aku kadang-kadang bukak jugak dictionary, or lebih dikenali sebagai kamus, and tau lah guna dictionary sebab dulu kat skolah dulu cikgu aku da ajar camne nak guna dictionary tu. so, ape yang aku bace lah kat dictionary tu kan, stalk tu bermaksud mengikut, dalam bahasa inggerisnya pula *selain stem* bermaksud follow or approach steathily and quietly
eh, ke aku salah? ade dictionary lain cakap stalk tu maksudnye rampas eh? oh. dictionary baru kot. aku tak beli lagi. nnt lah aku beli ye.

p/s: come on lah. aku baru 2nd sem kot blaja. belum jadi cikgu lagi and plus, belum 21 lagi. buat ape nak mature cepat2? mature cepat, tua pon cepat. tol?

piggy fight

biar aku nk masak lomak cili api jap yo.


Babi. Nak stalk bf org lak an. Come on lah wey. Kautakde bf sendiri ke nak stalk. Ke bf kau da mls nk layan kau? Sian kau kan. Ade bf tp dye mls lyn kau. Tu sebab kau g carik bf org pastu nk stalking2 kan. Aku tak kesah la kan kau nk stalk bf sape2 pon tp tayah ar nk kecoh bgtau org yg kau still syg org tu kan. Mmg bangang la kau ni. Da terang2 kau dok taip ari2 kat blog kau tu pasal bf kau je manjang. Smpai goli bai bulu roma den ni ha. Da togak bona da. Stim abeh lah. Takpek nak togak lg da bulu roma den ni ha. Goli bona. Pastu kau dok ckp kat org yg kau syg laa bagai kat orang lame. Weyyy. *snapping fingers* kecewa douh bf kau kalu dye tau. Ke bf kau da tak syg kau? Tu yg kau nk crik spepat tu eh? Sial je. Forget about him lah. Tu bf kau tu, elok je utk kau. Mmg sesuai lah. Aku pon tanak laki cm dye. Kau je yg nak. Cengeng nk mampos. Pakai same pon nk kecoh. Ape org ckp pasal korg pon nk kecoh, and the most important thing is, gado sbb rindu kat mak pon nak kecoh. *yucks*. Whatever. Obviously lah kan, org yg kau dok syg2 ni totally different dari bf kau skang. and mine is wayyy more better than yours. plus, kau tak paham lagi ke yg dye benci gila babi kat kau. ke kau nak aku translate kan? he hates you. he's fucking hate you. get it?good girl *pok pok*. sian douh kau. period pon nk kecoh2 kat blog. bukan aku nk salahkan kau nk tules ape pon kat blog kau kan, tp bukan ke sepatutnyelah kan, mengikut agama,*even aku yg tak kuat agama ni pon tau* benda tu supposedly kene keep it secret. tayah nk heboh2 de. tak elok. nnt org yg jahat senang nk kenekan kite. tol? and plus, kau tak malu ke weyy? senang je kalu kau ckp kau punye$*^%$ berdarah. tayah nk cover2. takpe
wey. kau tayah sebok nak jage tepi kain org. awek dye tauu lah camne nak jage dye. kau tayah risau. sume ditanggung beres. kau tu, sile jage bf kau. jgnlah smpai dye lari kat org lain pulakkan. kang aku mls ar nk dgr cite pasal kau bunuh diri sebab bf kau curang ke ape an.

p/s: STAY AWAY. *annoyed*

the poison lips

sometimes, i mean, most of the times, i feel so annoyed with all the people around me who's trying to impress me. well i dont get impress to your fake smiles FYI. what does it takes for you to stop making me as your subject? what does it take for you to stop making me impressed with you* though im not very impressed at all*? it'd risk it all.seriously.

another words;
yea, i'm happy with my life now, and i'm damn regret for what i've done before. so don't laugh at my pasts and just support me for my future. you know how hard it takes for me to fix it all. its really hard for me to loose it all. all i want is just to be normal. not the person that i used to be. i just wanna be normal. with no people outside who notice me, so that i could live my life in peace and harmony.

and FYI,
i hate jackasses. so please just step away. i mean it ;)

p/s:
i love you, H.

oh and my bestfriend, miss ayuni, get well soon. ilysm :-*

slow burn

i am the kinda girl who wants to get everything that i really want. and yes, i work for it, with passion. but why did you stop me? or should i say, why are you stopping me? why do you have to stop me from coloring my life? there are so many colors in the world, so, sometimes, i'd like them all. i'd like to paint my life with all the colors. but you want my life to be all white and blue. black and red ARE sometimes nice, and GREEN too. i know you have some red and black colors too, right? so why dont you just let me try? experience is the best teacher. without any experiences in my life, how could i taste what's sweet and what's bitter? its not fair for only you to have the experience. i am 18. and i have the curiosity but STILL, i know what's right and what's not. i can differentiate them PERFECTLY. but how can i grow up in living like this? ITS NOT EVEN FAIR AT ALL.


nways,thank you Haziq for cheering up my life :)

abcendol

so the fairy tales of the happily ever after where some are dead, and others get married, and died, and get married, and got kids blah blah shit is not really the talk of the week right?
keep on hiding. its making things sooo right :)

wikianswers

everyone keeps on asking me, what am I doing, or what i'll be doing, or what i've done in this fucking long final breaks. 6 weeks baby! wayy too long for me. and gosh, i hate to sayy it repeatedly so lets just put it in words shall we? :)

-cut my nails 2 times a week
-cleaning up the house
-messing up my room, clean it up, messing it up again, and cleaning it up back
-write 1000 times of the same word which i found in a dictionary to make me remember the word and burn it
-guitar guitar guitar
-downloading, deleting, downloading
-read the book entitled Cat's Cradle by Lizbie Brown again and again
-go downstairs, look around, go back upstairs, sit down, and go back downstairs and lay down
-eat some grapes, foods and drink some water.
-facebooking,myspacing,blogging,youtubing
-change the channel over and over when there's nothing to be watched
-throw out my wastes like 4 times a day?
-sleep, sleep, sleep
sharpen up the pencils in my room
-texting some friends, which i dont do that too often
-watching some stupid movies over and over again
-listen to 654 songs in my phones.

there you are. lists of the things that i am doing, or done or will be doing during this hols.
* orang tak de duit mmg dok rumah je, besides, mmber ramai tak cuti kan?*

cock

so predictable.
*annoyed*

sticks and stones

its another plain day, woke up and did some chores, blah blah, till got a text message from ayu. jiji, nak kuar tak?ajik ajak teman makan, kate ayu. so then i went to dressed myself and ajik came to pick me up and followed by ayu's place. went to stadium to have some char kuey tiaw and popiah kat kedai Gay.*its what they called*. makan2 je, then suddenly an idea came up. jom pegi lake garden? tanye jiher. so then kitorang pon gerak pegi sane. tak buat ape pon. i just want to get my inspiration there :)

then about 30 minutes, they felt bored and wanted to go somewhere else. jom men layang2 lah,kate ajik. so then pegi la kat city park seremban2. sampai2 je tak jadi main layang2 but we fed the fishes and some tortoises. rm6 abes utk beli makanan diorg je. haha

yang ni Kassim dan yang kat blakang tu John

yang ni Macha

then malam, benda pukimak jadi, terus lepak Ijan burger. malas dok umah. tp ayu lak kena balik awl, nak tgok Las Vegas. hush. haha.

fuck.@#$%^&&^%$%^&*((*^$@#$%^&^%$#$%^&*&&*(*}{:{)(*&^%$%^&*@#$@#$(*&^

picture perfect pethetic

according to oxford advance learner's dictionary of current English, secret means, to be kept from the knowledge of view of others; of which others have no knowledge or secluded, or quiet, or secretive(the more usual word), or not telling anyone else, or hidden cause; way of doing or getting something that is not known to some or most people.
so clearly and OBVIOUSLY, when you have a secret or some secrets that, OF COURSE, should be kept to yourself,you should keep it as a secret,or should i say the meaning,NOT TELLING ANYONE ELSE. so either someone give you secrets, or have secrets, or you know something happened that shouldn't known by anyone else, you should keep it as a secret,get it? or in case you don't; ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT BE TOLD, IS A SECRET, WHICH MEANS, YOU SHOULD KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, DONT SPILL ANYTHING. is it so hard to understand?
what if the secret makes the person's life bitter? or harder? what if the secret could kill the person's life? and what if the secret would embarrassed the person without he, himself not knowing about that?
as a Malaysian a responsible Malaysian, we should know, whats good and whats bad; whats should be given and what should be taken; and what should be kept and what should be told. are you Malaysian enough?


current song:
- pukimak, by naratu
- sway, by the kooks
- guris, by twickheads

cherish cats

kawan. ape itu kawan?adakah semua orang yang anda kenal itu kawan?lepak mates?class mates? house mates? school mates? and even band mates? adakah mereka semua ini kawan anda? atau rakan anda? temat anda mengepau makanan? tempat anda mengisi masa lapang? berkongsi gossip? atau hanya sekadar nak tambah list nama kat phone book je? ape itu best friend? kawan terbaik? kawan yang best? atau sekadar title je? nk nampak gempak. pasti ke anda yang diorg ni takkan back stab anda? asti ke diorang ni sume anggap anda sebagai rakan, teman, kawan, sahabat atau rakan baik anda? pe beza diorg ni? padahal satu hari nanti diorg akan tinggalkan kita jugak. diorg akan lupe kat kita jugak. betul kan? ape beza kawan biasa dengan kawan baik? sape lagi memahami? sape lagi supportive? dan sape lagi mengenali? sume orang tak pasti. kadang2 musuh pon bole jadi kawan. kawan bole jadi lawan. kenapa jadi camtu? nape mereka yang mengajak anda ke jalan sesat anda anggap mereka sebagai kawan, tetapi yang menghalang anda melakukan kesalahan seperti mereka, atau menarik anda dari terjerumus ke jalan sesat anda anggap mereka sebagai lawan? tidakkah anda sedar bahawa yang lawan itu lah kawan paling baik yang anda patut hargai. bukan seperti yang anda sangkakan kawan itu. kadang2 kawan yang anda anggap kawan anda itu baik seperti malaikat dunia. tapi bila anda tahu yang dia adalah syaitan yang bertopengkan manusia, ape perasaan anda? serba salah? marah? atau hanya mendiam kan diri?
aku masih tak mengerti siapa aku ni dalam hidup kalian. member? kawan? rakan? atau sekadar name yg bole disebut sebut, dan orang yg boleh digossipkan untuk menampakkan yang anda ini popular.



S, you have the luck but you dont grab it. pity you. i heard some rumors bout the old friend of yours. ?
oh and mr.P, tak paham lagi ke?! its none of my business so I DONT CARE.


current song:
- my sweet lullaby, by sweet revenge
- guys like you make us feel bad, by bless the fall
- emily, by from first to last.

WHAT HAPPEN TO EMILY??