satisfaction

i smiled when i looked at the paper.
i smiled when i looked at the score that i've got with my very own effort.
but you didn't smile.
you didn't.
you put tears on my face.
i thought you were going to say the 'C' word, or at least
say that you're A BIT proud of me.
but you never were.
eventhough i think i improved a lot from the very past years
but you didnt think so.
why? why did you yelled?
i was speechless when you said those to me.
i was. and i still am now.
and why did you ever get so fuck up with the numbers?
obviously, i didn't get 1 or 2. but i got 3.
and plus, it was my first year, first semester, and i had a very difficult days during my exam.
you never know.
i know i was careless. but i was. i am not now.
i promise i'll be more aware.
and i'll promise i'll give you more. not just 3 but 4 and if there's 5, i'll give you 5.
i dont care if you dont believe me or whatever. but im gonna prove it and lets see what you'll say next.