stars, moon and the sun

sometimes, these thoughts came up from my mind
how i wish i dont have friends
how i wish i dont have a family
how i wish that i am alone
how i wish i am not me
but the wishes can never be true. i need 'em but it put guiltiness to my face.
i'm stuck in the middle,
choices that can't be choose.
reasons that aren't reasonable.
excuses that aren't meant to be excused.
i'm in the middle of myself, of being myself.
why can't anyone read my mind?
why can't anyone feel what i feel?
oh yeah, i'm always the one who doesn't understand when i'm trying really hard to fix up your tangled thoughts.
then who's gonna fix up mine?
i dont have the strenght to live with out 'em, but somehow, i get the strength myself as they keep on weakening me.
i'm trying to be strong
so, i put up some fake smiles.
fake.
while i am emitting crystal water from my eyes
and the wounds.
it keeps on hurting and hurting and hurting.
no, none of you are wrong. don't blame yourself.
and don't blame me too.
i cant stand of holding this guilt and sorrows by myself.
though now that i am much happy, not like i was
but im still trapped in the middle.
of stars, moon and the sun.