to a friend

Come to think of it, am i the one who started it? Am i the one who ruined everything? Coz you don’t seem to care nor notice me ever since the thing started. have i chose the wrong decision? Am i in the wrong path?

I do not know what’s in your mind now but all i know is you are so different from who you were before. And i keep on wondering what I have done that makes you act like this. You said you were okay but you’re not. You were caught lying to us, is that what makes you hate me now?

As for now, i just wish and hoping that everything will be alright. Frankly speaking, i miss you soo bad.  But i couldn’t say it to you coz you don’t seem to miss me. And yes, i miss all the laughter that we shared together, well, its a long long time ago. Till i cant remember when was the last time we did that. The jealousy started to cross my heart when i saw you missing somebody else, which was not me. Sorry but yes i am a bit jealous of that.

Sometimes i fall, and i wish that it was you are the one that hold my hands, but that was just a dream. So, as for now, you cant blame me for having someone else in my life, some more friends and one special guy in my heart. But still, i wish we could turn back the time and pause at the moments that we’re spending our selves together. I miss our yesterdays and i miss you..

1,2,3

its been a long time since i haven't update my blog. 

yeah. lots of things to do rather than typing unspoken words to this place. 

been very busy with mid terms, and friends and life and love.

but there are some things that i want to say to those who i think need to buy a very very big mirror.

stop backstabbing your friend. you know how it hurt when someone back stabbing you. 

and by wearing your mask, doesn't mean that i cant see your real face that you're hiding from her. i could see it with my bare naked eyes.

and stop hurting my friends. leaving them is hurt enough, but cheating and lying? its too much. screw you! dont you have any idea on what you say about her might affect her the rest of her life? dont you think what you did to him is too much? and dont you think you're too obsessed with your new life and that you've forgot who's been by your side all the time?

and yeah, the sudden change of you has made me think of something. you've not moved on. i know. i'm a girl too. 

and to those who keep on fighting about such a fucking silly things, just snap out of it. its ridiculous. you might think that you did the right thing but, come to think of it, who's there when you need someone? and you just want to end your relationship just like that? nonsense.

and you hate me coz i spilled the whole truth? what? you're scared? well, i'm not. go and tell others your lies. they would believe you, but i wont. and someday, you'll know how far you've been. 

i know im no perfect, but at least i'm trying. 

and his name is Haziq

he's always there for me to make me smile

he's always there for me to wipe out my tears

he's always there for me to calm my anger

he's always there for me to hear my lecture

he's always there for me through ups and downs

he never gives up on me

he never gives up on cheering me

he never gives up on pulling me up from the cliff 

he never gives up on loving me

he, is the greatest guy i've ever met

and

thank you for not being mad at me when im mad at you

thank you for holding my soul when im about to die

thank you for not stop calling my name when i refused to talk

thank you for always be there for me when im in pain or in the sweetest memory

thank you for accepting me as who i am when i wanted to change

and lastly

thank you for being my boyfriend.

i love you with all of my heart

<3

robots?

yes, human beings are getting smarter and smarter. but creating sex robots? this doesn't make sense. AT ALL. 

look at her! she doesn't even look real. how can you possibly, you-know-what-i-mean. its DISGUSTING!!!

and for those who are interested in buying these robots, please, just don't. there are sooooo many girls out there that are HUMANKIND whom you can have s*x with.

be a man, okay? i mean, a REAL man.

 watch this video

and ajik, if you dare to buy one, memang nak kene lempang lah!

counting the days

exam exam exam.

tired of it already!!!

so anyway, 3 papers had passed today.
frankly, philosophy of education was really really tough. i've been struggling very very hard for the paper, been reading it for 3 days, and all i can answer is 2/5 of it! well, maybe its because i have to read like, what, 80 pages for 2 chapters. hows that? but anyway, sorry Prof J.

the next paper was sociology. another tough subject. luckily the lecturer gave us a lil tips on the exam, so we didnt have to read all of the chapters in the big book. but the exam was tiring because i have to write 5 essays and the marks are irrelevant! urghh. thanks anyway.

then on the same day of sociology, i had this critical thinking subject, at noon. mengantok lah! but, it was okay lah. not that tough as i thought it was but not as easy as creative thinking that i took last semester. :)

next will be, counselling and guidance IN THE MORNING, and presentation skills ON SATURDAY!
bosan betul bila exam hari sabtu. :(

ouh and one more thing yang best pasal mid sem dekat MSU ni is that, no hols. not even a day, well maybe they think there is, SUNDAY.

and to my beloved haziq hanif, stay strong. i'll always be with you. see you next week okay ;)

come and go

setiap yang datang mesti akan pergi
dan kite sebagai manusia memang takkan hidup lama, mesti akan mati. 
cube lah lari macamana pon, rentas lautan api, panjat gunung yg 10 kali ganda lagi tinggi dar everest, jadi macam hollow man bagaimana skali pon, malaikat tetap akan cabut nyawa kite. 

ayah chot, pakcik saya, meninggal hari ini

sedikit sebak di dada,

tapi nak buat macamana, Allah lebih sayangkan beliau. dah tiba ajalnya untuk pergi. kite tak bole nak halang kehendak Tuhan.

SEMOGA ROHNYA DICUCURI RAHMAT.

AL-FATIHAH...

maaf tidak dapat menziarahi kerana exam ;(

explain

again, i feel annoyed with the questions, what what and what do you learn from philosophy?
urghh. okay here's the thing. in my opinion, i dont learn anything from it. yes. because i dont apply any of those stuff that are written in the book instead, i try to understand it and say "oh, really?"
its just a matter of gaining knowledge without finding the way to apply it.
basically, from the book, that i've read reluctantly, its all about idealism and realism and how it relates to education and teaching. *read it so you'll know how gila i am when reading this*
these things are totally different. idealism is subjective and it is intangible. idealists believed that ideas are the pure truth because ideas do not change, but materials are changing. and thennnn, the fucking part is, we can get to know these people like Plato, Socrates, Augustine and duhh, memang aku tanak kenal korang lah but i am forced to get to know them. i hate to learn about the dead.
and realism is the opposite of it. it is objective and measurable and tangible. and frankly, this is all iknow because i haven't study a thing for this! F**k! and more people to be noticed such as Aquinas, Aristotle, Bacon and who ever they are.

so get the idea ? philosophy is as easy as cendol. trust me.
exam will be on wednesday and thre'll be 2 essays. ^&^&(*)*(&%$%

papers and pens

it has been a few months for this semester and now, its mid semester's test. goshhh! i think i know nothing at all. it feels like, i've learned nothing through out this semster. 

i got 5 subjects to be studied. and these subject are pretty lame. 

-critical thinking

-counselling and guidance

-presentation skills

-philosophy of education

-sociology

*i'm listing it out so that people would STOP asking me what subjects am i taking this semester.*

so frankly speaking, my favourite has always been literature, but because there's no more literature class*which makes me feel sooo upset about it* the most acceptable and kind,my favourite subject is, presentation skills. 

eventhough, the assignments has nothing to do but only presentation and presentation and more presentations, but the class was kinda fun. seriously.

and the least favourite subject of all times is counselling and guidance.

imagine: jiher as a counsellor. 

geli bai!!

this subject was the most boring subject i've even took. sumpah tanak blaja lagi dah lepas sem ni!

the toughest subject is philosophy of education. well, falsafah kan, susah la. the sentences are hardly understandable because it uses a philosophical-english-language, in which, i have to read it like 10 times to understand JUST A SENTENCE, not to mention i have to read like 30 times to AT LEAST remember what it says. nak harapkan aku hafal setiap sentence? JANGAN HARAP.

so, the test will starts on 12th january 2010. wish me all the best ;)

holiday inn

Seperti yang tidak di plan kan, selepas tamat kelas pada hari khamis, a few hours later, aku di jemput pulang oleh bapaku yang terchenta kerana kami sekeluarga akan pergi bercuti ke pantai Desaru, Kota Tinggi, Johor. Ohh, terlepas untuk melepak dengan ajik :( tak mengapa. Malam itu, aku dipujuk untuk bergembira dengan memberi aku makanan yang sedapsedap(eh, macam tiru ayat ajik).

Nasib baik kenyang. Keesokkan paginya, bergerak menuju ke Johor Bharu, pakcik saya tibetibe jatuh sakit. Kesian dye. Petang tu selepas merayaurayau kejap di JB, kami pon menuju ke Desaru. 4 jam perjalanan sebab jalan sangatsangat jam. Mane tak nye, jalan dah la satu lane je, and polis buat roadblock 3 kali. Aku panas betul dengan polis ni. Pilih lah tempat yang strategic sikit boleh tak? Urghh. Sampai dalam pukul 10 macam tu. Sampai sahaja di rumah, orang yang pegang kunci rumah tersebut tiada.

Fuck!

Cari dan mencari dan mencari hotel untuk menginap.

Tiada yang kosong. Sume sudah ada orang menginap. Lastlast, nasib baik bawak khemah, so, rent tempat nak camping dan pasang khemah ni. *so nottt what i expected to happen*
Takde rezeki aku nak skype dengan ajik malam tu :(

tapi best lah sebab camping dekat tepi laut, walaupun tak berapa cantik laut tu, tapi romantic wey. Wewittt.
Pagipagi lagi orang ramai dah dating nak main air kat tepi laut. Tak ramai yang nak mandi, sebab takot, ombak dye besar sangat. Den pun cuak ha.

Nasib baik tengahari tu orang tu dah sampai dan beri kami kunci rumah tersebut.
Malam tu adelah yang terbaik. Bbq wey! Nak kata ramai, tak lah ramai, dalam 20+ orang camtu. Makanan jangan cakap lah. Terlampau banyak. Dengan rendang lah, botok-botok lah, makanan bbq macam ayam, ikan pari, ikan jaket, sotong, udang, dan macammacam lagi. Slek takde lamb je. Ish.

Yang paling best malam tu adelah, kami ber-bbq diluar rumah dibumbungi oleh bintangbintang yang sangat cantik, bulan pulak mengambang penuh, dengan laut kelihatan di depan, memang indah pemandangan. wuuu
tapi nyamuk jahat. men gigitgigit pulak.*gedik macam sial wey. hahaha*

Sangat kenyang aku malam tu. The guys tak tidur dalam rumah sebab perempuan ramai sangat. So diorg camping je kat tepi laut. Nak join, tapi aku sorang je pompuan yang nk join, so tak dibenarkan. Hmm.

Online kat tepi laut lagi best okay! Cepat je. Kat dalam rumah line takde. Broadband macam sial. Susah nak skype. *skype lagiii*
Esok, off to Shah Alam :)


p/s: takde gambar untuk di upload sebab handphone aku dah semakin canggih, gambar takbole da nak ditangkap T.T