stars, moon and the sun

sometimes, these thoughts came up from my mind
how i wish i dont have friends
how i wish i dont have a family
how i wish that i am alone
how i wish i am not me
but the wishes can never be true. i need 'em but it put guiltiness to my face.
i'm stuck in the middle,
choices that can't be choose.
reasons that aren't reasonable.
excuses that aren't meant to be excused.
i'm in the middle of myself, of being myself.
why can't anyone read my mind?
why can't anyone feel what i feel?
oh yeah, i'm always the one who doesn't understand when i'm trying really hard to fix up your tangled thoughts.
then who's gonna fix up mine?
i dont have the strenght to live with out 'em, but somehow, i get the strength myself as they keep on weakening me.
i'm trying to be strong
so, i put up some fake smiles.
fake.
while i am emitting crystal water from my eyes
and the wounds.
it keeps on hurting and hurting and hurting.
no, none of you are wrong. don't blame yourself.
and don't blame me too.
i cant stand of holding this guilt and sorrows by myself.
though now that i am much happy, not like i was
but im still trapped in the middle.
of stars, moon and the sun.

mending wall, by Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."


i like this beautiful poem, the literally meaning, and the deeper meaning. try to understand what it relates to friendship ;)

you

as i holding my pen,
my hands keep on writing about you.
as i open my mouth,
my tougue keeps on saying about you.
as i open my eyes,
my sight see nothing but you.
as i read out my mind,
i just cant stop thinking about you.
i love you, haziq :)

three hundred and sixty five

seconds' changing to minutes

minutes' turning to hours
hours' leading to days.

as days passed by,

i keep on dreaming of the Star

my shining Rockstar,

my heart,

my other part of heart,

that is far away from my side,

and far enough from my sight.

a few pieces of texts wont heal me,

a few minutes of calls wont calm me,

and a few hours of stare would just kill me

b'coz the 12 numbers of the ticking clock

is not enough,

not enough to pay the distance that hurts.

but the lack of time wont change anything,

the lack of time wont kill my love,

as i love him more, each and everyday,

even when we're apart.

29 november 2009

1.34 a.m

another

the thoughts of writing this just came out when i was in shower ;)


another day,another drama
another romantic lies,
another fake smiles.
the karma circle
wouldn't stop spinning
the sins for the sinners
will ever increasing.
another wonderful day
will not be seen,
aother pain and hatred will be obviously
bleeding.
what else can i say,
but to only pray.
what else can i say,
but to sit and wait,
for the summer day to become winter,
for this darkest hour to become lighter.
its just another day with yesterday,
and another day with
"IF tomorrow comes"